Shari was raising her twin boys on her own before she met her girlfriend, Darra with whom she is engaged to be married. At 56, Shari shares a beautiful home with Darra and their blended family of 4 kids, all teens and young adults, plus their adorable dog who was happy to join us for our conversation.
Shari officially came out as a lesbian in her late 20’s. She always knew she wanted to be a mother and despite not having the traditional life she envisioned, she decided to pursue motherhood another way. Happily, Shari conceived her twin sons through artificial insemination in 2004 and enjoyed a lot of support from her community of close friends and family.
Before that time period in Montreal, artificially insemination was mainly only available to married women suffering from infertility. By the time Shari decided to try, it had become more accessible. Being a single, gay woman, a few years earlier it would have been challenging to find a clinic willing to help her.
Getting pregnant did not happen easily but luckily she was able to achieve her wish of having a baby (and ended up having 2 babies!).
Amazingly, years after her boys were born, Shari discovered a website called the Sibling Donor Registry. On this website, children can be matched up to the others who were conceived from a donor. After plugging in the ID number from the file, she found many other children that had been born from the same donor and then she found the donor himself who was happy to be contacted. They were such a big group that they have started a Facebook group so they would be able to know one another.
Eventually Shari was able to meet her donor have her kids meet him. Now, at 17 years old, her boys are graduating high school and do not feel the need to be in touch with him though they always know they can. They have all the family they need in Shari and Darra and the large network of family and friends who support them.
