I met Jillian at her beautiful NDG apartment on one of those rare gorgeous sunny days in March and had a wonderful conversation while her sweet little dog dozed on his cushion nearby.
Surrounded by different crystals, plants, buddha statues and trinkets from her travels, we talked about so many interesting topics the viewpoints that she’s developed in her 57 years.
Jillian was a single mom of 2 boys. When she was nearing her 50th birthday she decided that she did not want to be in Montreal when she turned 50. Being a yoga enthusiast, she felt that Bali would be great place to be for a few weeks so she stocked the fridge, packed her bags and left while her 2 teenage boys stayed behind to take care of the house and the pets. “It was a time of pulling away from them. They were growing up and pulling away.” As difficult a transition as that was, Jillian knew that it is “important to understand that they need to do that, they need to distance themselves and pull away from you”. Until the kids were 12, she always knew were they were but after that they starting having their own lives and friends, and she realized she had to say “ok, who am I?”
“I don’t think having children should be your life. We teach them to be kind individuals, to be independant and then you have to let them go, or else you’re going to be struggling”.
2 years after her trip to Bali, her sister sadly passed away at the age of 48. That and having lost her mother at the age of 52 Jillian realized that “life is short. You never know what’s going to happen” and so this motivated her to make decisions that propels her through life on her own terms.
“In a way I feel I am proud of what I’ve done. I don’t want to be living for someone else. I think at 50 I realized I have to start living for myself”.
Realizing all of this, Jillian quit her job to do various jobs that gave her more freedom and the ability to determine her own time. After a year of working more independently, Jillian left to go to Costa Rica. After returning to Montreal, she went back to work full time but realized she can choose what she wants and make her own decisions based on her happiness. “It doesn’t always have to be 9-5 with a pension. Yes, you need to feel safe but it doesn’t always mean you’re going to feel safe. You never know what’s going to happen”..
“Living life, being happy, people might not always approve or they might judge but doing scary things are what makes you grow. You need to get out of your comfort zone and do things that scare you so that you have more strength for when things happen. if you’re always staying in a bubble and staying safe and things happen I think you have less energy to go through them”. As Jillian very succinctly said, “the harder things give you more value”
“The kind of life I want for myself is working less, having time for me and traveling. Time passes and years pass and you have to act on the things you want to do”.
Words to live by.
