The whole year leading up to turning 40, Melanie was reflecting of this upcoming milestone birthday and where she wanted to be in life. The following is our conversation about living her life in the way she wanted to live it as she turned 40 and since.
“The whole year I was 39, it was as if I was already 40. I went through so much internal reflection and really took the opportunity to say, ‘what have I done in my life? What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be?’ because it’s only getting shorter and there’s only so many years left. So I spent the whole year really thinking about it decided to start going for it, not in the way you do when you’re in your 20’s and just jump into it and be impulsive but with more purpose. I’m so much more mindful of my decisions and what I’m going to do and how I’m going to spend my life.
It was all about boundaries for me, learning to build those boundaries and how to maintain those boundaries and just doing what I wanted to do.”
As she reflected on her life and the good place she was at it in she talked about realizing that she really enjoyed living on her own, on her own terms. “I love living alone, I love spending time by myself. I need it to recharge. I’ve been living alone for 10 years.”
Melanie is in a relationship with a wonderfully supportive man but they live independent lives,
“One thing I’ve realized in the last couple of years is that I wanted everything. I was always of 2 minds. My sister and friends were starting families and I wanted that too but then I didn’t. I also wanted to quit everything and travel the world. I really wanted totally opposite things and was trying to figure that out all the time. I was paralyzed by choice and because I wanted to do everything so I ended up doing nothing. I don’t regret everything though because I’ve learned so much. Would I have been the same person today if I didn’t go through that?
I’m a little more mindful today of what I don’t want and that narrows down what I do want and that makes the choices a little easier. “
On speaking about her relationship, Melanie discussed their upcoming travel plans. She of course had to do what many had to do the last 2 years since the Covid pandemic, put her travel plans on hold. “I know I want to travel so I’ve made the conscious decision to do that”.
Now that she’s able to she is going to resume living her life to the fullest. I think after all this time, we’re all ready for that.
